Today, it seemed like my daughter whom I love dearly wanted did not want to obey whatsoever. She was given several warnings with followed through punishments. The problem is the punishments don't seem to phase her. I understand that some of it is her age. I have tried taking away toys/privilleges, spanking, time-outs, being kind and explaining what she did wrong, praising her when she does good things. I don't know what else I can do.
Just to paint a picture of what happened today this is how church went. During Sacrament meeting, my daughter would not sit still. I understand that she is three, but as I looked around, I notice other people's children are behaving and being reverent while my daughter is dancing in between the pews and the folding chairs DURING the Sacrament prayer and while it's being passed. Before you judge or say anything, we did scold her we have talked to her about how she needs to be reverent at church especially during Sacrament. We have brought coloring books, crayons, sticker books, reading books snacks (which we give them as a reward for being reverent after the sacrament is done being passed), We do try to keep our children busy.
What do you do when 1) your child keeps getting out of time out or when 2) they don't listen or mind a thing you say? I know every child is different. I feel that I need to go back to the drawing board and rethink how we discipline our children. I don't want my children to fear me or be afraid of me. How do you get your children to respect you and be obedient?
2 comments:
We had a family time out quite a few times at church -- you know, where all three kids were in trouble and we ended up in the foyer. Mm had the hardest time with time-out. Always. Sometimes a three-minute time-out ended up being a ten-minute time-out! The thing is, whatever discipline you decide to do, be consistent. All three of my oldest kids have tried to sneak out of time out (Mm tried it the most, though) and I remember being EXTREMELY angry and frustrated by it. But -- they know now that time-out is the usual discipline and time-out DOES indeed start over (and over and over sometimes :) :) :) ) when they do not sit like they are supposed to.
Of course I wasn't perfect at disciplining Mm, especially when she was 3. Chalk up Sacrament meeting as a learning experience and try, try, again. The important thing is consistency in whatever you do for discipline. And she'll keep testing you and testing and testing and testing until she's about.......16?? :) :) :) Have heart!!
I agree, consistency is key. Parker used to get out of time outs, but he did it because he got a strong reaction out of us (yelling, spanking) and kids will do anything for attention, even if it's negative attention. So if you are doing time outs, make sure you are consistent, and if she gets out, don't get mad and scream or scold or even give her a "look", just gently pick her back up and put her in the chair, simply explain "you are in time out for...." and walk away. Set a timer. Put her back in over and over, it could take 15-20 times or more before she stays, just don't let her get a rise or emotional reaction out of you and she'll tire of it. If she yells and screams and flails when you put her back, then put her in her room and calmly say something like "you can't be with us/me when you act this way, please stay in your room until you feel calm enough to come out and act nice." This also may take a lot of putting her back in before she gets it. Please read the book I recommended, The power of positive parenting, if you can do the recommended principles in there, it can work wonders for your family, even really wild and strong willed kids. The best advice I ever go about parenting was this, "worry less about scolding and more about loving and it all works out in the end. When in doubt, cuddle first." And when you are praising her for being good, try to have at least 20 positive interactions with her every hour. That sounds like a lot, but a positive interaction can be as little as a smile or a wink, or a pat on the back, just slather her with positive attention and ignore the bad. It takes about two weeks, but her behavior will change. Hope that helps, it helped Parker.
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