I have to warn you. This is another long post. Today was literally a day from you know where, but it was also a huge lesson for me. The day started off with me getting mad at Brian for some stupid things which later I wondered "why am I so worked up over this?" As I explained in my previous post, Brian has been having to work some mandatory overtime at work which leaves him very little time to do his homework. Today Brian stayed home from church to finish his homework that is due tomorrow. That means I ended up taking the kids to church by myself.
When I got to church, the only seats were in the front. We sat on the second row between two older married couples. Things were going good until right after the Sacrament had been passed. Jairus started fussing so I gave him a bottle. I burped him, but he still continued fussing. Then Tali started acting up getting into my friend Shearyl's purse. Tali loves purses so she didn't want to listen to me. Shearyl kept telling me Tali was fine and that she had 8 grand-kids. I tried to keep Tali occupied by drawing, but that wasn't working. She got on the floor and then proceeded to try and climb under the bench. I pulled her out and she started freaking out and would collapse everytime I tried to stand her up. I didn't know what else to do because I had Jairus who was fussing and Tali freaking out. Thankfully another kind woman in my ward, Gabby told me she would watch Jairus while I took Tali out. I was SO embarrassed and humiliated. I felt like the bishopric as well as the entire congregation were just staring at me.
I took Tali into the mother's room and gave her a good scolding and just started balling. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe because I was so upset. As I was crying, Tali came over to me and just started rubbing my back. It was so hard to be mad at her being so cute and so sweet after that. After I had composed myself, we went back into Sacrament meeting. When I sat down I noticed Gabby had taken Jairus out. I asked Shearyl if she wouldn't mind watching Tali so I could relieve Gabby from Jairus. After I had thanked Gabby profusely she went and sat down. I stood in the back by the doors bouncing Jairus and watching Tali with Shearyl. Then it looked like Tali had climbed under the bench and so Shearyl decided to bring Tali out and walk around with her. I was so embarrassed. You'd think I could handle two kids. Sacrament ended and I was able to take Tali to nursery.
I was so exhausted, I just sat in the chapel just relaxing and thinking. There were very few people in the chapel which I was thankful for. As I was rocking Jairus to sleep in his carseat, the Young Women's President sat down and started talking to me. I was so glad she didn't mention the kids acting out. She asked me if I'd been to the shooting range recently (her and her family like going too) and we started talking about gun stuff. She then asked if I was okay. She sat and talked to me and was so kind. I was so thankful and surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. I didn't really know her that well (I knew who she was, but didn't really know her), but it was just so nice to talk to her. She reminded me that when we have little ones, we mainly go to church to stay in the practice of going to church because with little ones, we don't usually get much out of church.
When the men started coming into the chapel for Priesthood meeting, I started to go to Relief Society. I was stopped in the hall by the nursery leader and was told Tali needed a diaper change. So I go to the mother's room again to change her when Jairus wakes up. My friend, Lera came in with her little boy and asked if I was okay. I told her no. She asked what she could do to help and there really was nothing she could do. I told her it had just been one of those days which she could relate to. I get everything done, take Tali back to nursery and go to R.S. I sit down and start to relax and then Jairus freaks out again! AHHHH! I figured by now I have had it and I decide to go home early.
Later I had gone to a fireside that my friend Jason had put on for the youth of our stake. It was so nice to see his family. His parents are awesome people! I've known them for years. I am friends with their daughter Laura (LOVE YOU!). We ended up sitting by Jason's family....until Jairus started freaking out again. SIGH! I stood up and went to the back by the doors....again. Tali came after me and wanted me to hold her. I obviously couldn't because Jairus was in my arms. Jason's mom came and helped me with Tali which I was super grateful for but felt guilty because it was her son's first fireside. To make a longer story even shorter, I was up and down, back and forth in the back of the chapel with Jairus. Tali came to me in the back when I told her to go sit down when she started to go past the benches where were sitting. I couldn't necessarily chase after her because I didn't want to cause a scene and disrupt people from the fireside. Thankfully there was a young woman around the age of 18 that asked if I wanted her to go get Tali. I said yes so she went and got Tali and brought her back and started playing with her a little bit. Tali then wanted to get down and I told her to go sit down on the bench by my friend's family. She must have forgotten where were sitting or something because she passed our bench and went in two benches in front of us and sat with perfect strangers for a minute. I was kind of freaking out at this point, but tried not to show it. HA! Thankfully, Tali wasn't with them long and came back to me. The Young woman who had helped me before along with one of her friends kept Tali a little distracted with scripture marking crayons and some scratch paper Jason's mom had given Tali. The fireside was really great from what I caught of it. The music was amazing and had really touched me. The thing that I got out of the fireside and basically throughout my whole church experience was that "charity never faileth." I had been so blessed with all the craziness that had gone on today through the service of others. It was a reminder to me that eventhough it was hard and I felt like I was going to loose it several times, that my Heavenly Father loved me. I knew he was looking out for me and blessing me through the kindness and service of others even strangers like the kind young women. I will NEVER forget the service that was given to me today. I am so overwhelmed, yes by my kids, but more importantly by the love of my Heavenly Father who sent others to me. I am so grateful for the lessons I had learned today. Here are some thoughts/scriptures that came to me.
I took Tali into the mother's room and gave her a good scolding and just started balling. I remember feeling like I couldn't breathe because I was so upset. As I was crying, Tali came over to me and just started rubbing my back. It was so hard to be mad at her being so cute and so sweet after that. After I had composed myself, we went back into Sacrament meeting. When I sat down I noticed Gabby had taken Jairus out. I asked Shearyl if she wouldn't mind watching Tali so I could relieve Gabby from Jairus. After I had thanked Gabby profusely she went and sat down. I stood in the back by the doors bouncing Jairus and watching Tali with Shearyl. Then it looked like Tali had climbed under the bench and so Shearyl decided to bring Tali out and walk around with her. I was so embarrassed. You'd think I could handle two kids. Sacrament ended and I was able to take Tali to nursery.
I was so exhausted, I just sat in the chapel just relaxing and thinking. There were very few people in the chapel which I was thankful for. As I was rocking Jairus to sleep in his carseat, the Young Women's President sat down and started talking to me. I was so glad she didn't mention the kids acting out. She asked me if I'd been to the shooting range recently (her and her family like going too) and we started talking about gun stuff. She then asked if I was okay. She sat and talked to me and was so kind. I was so thankful and surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. I didn't really know her that well (I knew who she was, but didn't really know her), but it was just so nice to talk to her. She reminded me that when we have little ones, we mainly go to church to stay in the practice of going to church because with little ones, we don't usually get much out of church.
When the men started coming into the chapel for Priesthood meeting, I started to go to Relief Society. I was stopped in the hall by the nursery leader and was told Tali needed a diaper change. So I go to the mother's room again to change her when Jairus wakes up. My friend, Lera came in with her little boy and asked if I was okay. I told her no. She asked what she could do to help and there really was nothing she could do. I told her it had just been one of those days which she could relate to. I get everything done, take Tali back to nursery and go to R.S. I sit down and start to relax and then Jairus freaks out again! AHHHH! I figured by now I have had it and I decide to go home early.
Later I had gone to a fireside that my friend Jason had put on for the youth of our stake. It was so nice to see his family. His parents are awesome people! I've known them for years. I am friends with their daughter Laura (LOVE YOU!). We ended up sitting by Jason's family....until Jairus started freaking out again. SIGH! I stood up and went to the back by the doors....again. Tali came after me and wanted me to hold her. I obviously couldn't because Jairus was in my arms. Jason's mom came and helped me with Tali which I was super grateful for but felt guilty because it was her son's first fireside. To make a longer story even shorter, I was up and down, back and forth in the back of the chapel with Jairus. Tali came to me in the back when I told her to go sit down when she started to go past the benches where were sitting. I couldn't necessarily chase after her because I didn't want to cause a scene and disrupt people from the fireside. Thankfully there was a young woman around the age of 18 that asked if I wanted her to go get Tali. I said yes so she went and got Tali and brought her back and started playing with her a little bit. Tali then wanted to get down and I told her to go sit down on the bench by my friend's family. She must have forgotten where were sitting or something because she passed our bench and went in two benches in front of us and sat with perfect strangers for a minute. I was kind of freaking out at this point, but tried not to show it. HA! Thankfully, Tali wasn't with them long and came back to me. The Young woman who had helped me before along with one of her friends kept Tali a little distracted with scripture marking crayons and some scratch paper Jason's mom had given Tali. The fireside was really great from what I caught of it. The music was amazing and had really touched me. The thing that I got out of the fireside and basically throughout my whole church experience was that "charity never faileth." I had been so blessed with all the craziness that had gone on today through the service of others. It was a reminder to me that eventhough it was hard and I felt like I was going to loose it several times, that my Heavenly Father loved me. I knew he was looking out for me and blessing me through the kindness and service of others even strangers like the kind young women. I will NEVER forget the service that was given to me today. I am so overwhelmed, yes by my kids, but more importantly by the love of my Heavenly Father who sent others to me. I am so grateful for the lessons I had learned today. Here are some thoughts/scriptures that came to me.
- His love and mercy will ALWAYS sustain us.
- "Charity never faileth....Charity is the pure love of Christ"-Moroni 7:46-47.
- "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me."-Matthew 25:40
- "When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."-Mosiah 2:17
2 comments:
See, you're all ready much more brave than I was when I had Marian and Rais. If I could help it, I didn't take them by myself anywhere! :) If I knew I'd be "doing it alone" I usually called one of the young women in my ward ahead of time and asked if she would sit with me! haha You just went and dealt with it and that totally impresses me!! I couldn't do that...It made me too anxious. And there were many times when we had the whole Nordgren family in the foyer because of two disruptive children. Occasionally, M was in an empty classroom on a chair in time-out and R was on Alan's lap in the foyer! hahaha Anyway, I'm so glad you WENT and didn't give up on yourself or your situation. Heavenly Father absolutely knows when we mothers are struggling and He wants to help us -- through others. Sounds like a lot of people were looking out for Amy. :) :)
Sorry you had such a hard day. I defintely have had more than a few of those, especially alone at church. Ones that also have brought me to tears. I really do think that when you have little ones this age, all that matters is that you get yourself and them to church. So A+ for effort Amy! :) And thank goodness for ward friends to give you a little sanity.
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